I made it, and so far pretty much love it. Started work yesterday and my co-workers rock, campus is sweet and very very hilly. When people were telling me it was hilly I underestimated them. Where my hall is is pretty much on top the big hill so getting back to it once I leave is sweaty to say the least. It's been hovering around high 90s, close too 100 since I got here. Not minding too much since I like the heat... It's a little dryer then Illinois/Wisconsin too. I've been here less then a week and been to the river twice.


These are the end points where you can ride the falls in the tube or with out. Tonight we did without, it was a rush. This past weekend I went and floated the river. Michelle went too which was awesome. She likes it here! :)

I can't wait to see what the next few weeks bring for me with new RAs, training and opening the halls. It's weird being the new person again since I did it last year at Beloit but this fit just feels right. Granted I liked Beloit by the time I left but I never was this excited about it. Today just getting my new ID and seeing the bookstore made me feel like a freshman at orientation again. I loved it. Can't wait to see more!!!

There it is my friend. The long road ahead of us. 1,189 miles says google maps...that's without the stops along the way to see giant ketchup bottles, massive hands and a giant whale. Who knows what else will entice us off the road as well. Me, my bestie, 2 cats and my Focus (car not my ability to think) are going to rock this trip. See ya on the flip side and wish us luck!!

Now the tricky part, getting to sleep. It's 1am now...gonna be up at 6am!

The movers come tomorrow between 1-3. Sounds like the cable company. All my shit is boxed up, sitting by the door and waiting. Well minus my bed, cause I need somewhere to sleep tonight. I can't believe that in a week and a day I will be living in Texas. 1200 miles from "home" and everything I know. There are people out there that never thought I would ever leave this area. People that thought I was that safe friend/accuatnace/person that would just be there safetly tucked away close so beckon upon when needed. It's time my friends, time for my adventure and next step in life. Time to test my lmits, boundries and the new self I have proudly become.

Still doesn't seem real and I am really trying to figure out that point when it will. Aparetnly too many boxes, endless hours of packing and many goodbyes have not yet helped it set in yet. Really, I don't think the drive will either seeing as how I have one of my best friends that so willingly is coming with me then flying back. I think that first night I am alone, waiting to meet those people that I will grow close to like I did here in Beloit, is when it will set in. When it hits me that I am once again "the new girl" not knowing anything is when it will seem real. That first weekend I just need to get the hell away, but Dekalb or Naperville isn't just a few hours away as my safe haven and I need to make a get away with myself is when I will know I am no longer where I cam from, I am not longer where it's safe. I'm looking forward expanding my safe zone, doing something I thought I would never do or creating a whole new world I can share with my midwest folk. Ok friends, it's bedtime. I am exausted, and I need to be ready tomorrow to let some strange men in a truck take away my life except 2 weeks worth of clothes, my laptop and the cats.

g'night.

1. I'm moving to Texas, yes I am. Peace out midwest come July 9th.
2. I've hit my 40 pound weight loss mark. Still about another 40-50 to go for my next goal. Really I just want to be a solid 14-16 again. The last 3 years have been bad bad bad and fat fat fat. I can do it, I've done it before. I'm just in such a better place in life and emotionally :)
3. Packing, it's not fun. Especially when your apartment is a hot mess so you need uber clean and pack at the same time. I did 9 loads of laundry today. 9!!!! WTF. It's not like I have kids.
4. Today it was 99 degrees where I moving, looks like I am going to have to give in a like air conditioning. I do not like it now. brrr
5. uh....I guess I should go get loads 7,8, and 9 out of the dryer.

Which means I have too much time on my hands with my 10.5 month contract. I feel like a teacher, but I am not. What that means? Well I may begin updating? Who knows....life has been weird lately.

Your home is a Philanthropic Mansion Your kitchen is someplace you never go, because you "have people for that." There's a pantry loaded with enough alcohol to survive another Prohibition -- which you do tend to worry about. Get help, man. Your master bedroom is the size of a small barn, with carpet thick enough to reach your ankles. Your study has hardback editions of every classic ever written, plus a special edition of Rich Dad, Poor Dad with the parts you ghost-authored highlighted. One of your garages holds your collection of ferraris, and is measured in acreage. Your home also includes a wine cellar, which you've partially stocked with Martinelli's Sparkling Cider for when your Mormon friends come over. Your guests enjoy your home theater with 37 different sports channels. Outside is your hedge maze and gardens, meticulously tended by a team of world-class botanists. And, you have a pet -- a doberman pincer named "Warren". Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Build YOUR Dream House!

I do wonder if I should start posting/writing again.

Pretty sure this things is dead. Kinda like your soul.

sigh...

When will I feel right, or let alone anything again?

I want this joke to be over, back in Dekalb and life where it was a year ago. Then I want to know how I can make it all better, fix my mistakes and let people really know how I feel for them.

I can't go on this next year this miserable in Beloit. Its not fair that cause I am fat (fatter then I have ever been) I can't be loved, liked or paid attention to. I want attention, I want support and I want to feel like I belong somewhere, cause I sure as hell don't feel like I do anywhere. Why does every other freak, fatty, ghetto trash get to have someone and all I can manage to get are dates with jokes, fools and just nothings. I am a highly educated, fun and entertaining woman that DESERVES a nice, smart and funny guy that takes care of this life and himself. I am 26, I don't think I should need to settle for unemployed, uneducated, living with parents guys.URG!!!! I can't even get the attention of the guy I like long enough to even try and flirt.

So to all guys out there. Pull your heads out of your asses and realize your physical standards need to stop...NOW. You are missing out on a real life. Open your pretty little eyes and take a look, here I am. I will treat you like no one has ever treated you and make you fill that pieces that is missing by chasing after the same girls over and over again.

Damn i needed to get that out somewhere.

Didn't think so. Anyway, quick update.

Masters degree - Check!
New Job (school) - Check!
Taking Cats with me - Check!
Good man by my side - still workin on that ;)

It's true, I got a job offer yesterday after all this turmoil, driving, interviewing and freaking out. In the end I am ending up exactly where I wanted :) I can't wait...I think this school, though a little "odd", is really a good fit for me AND they are very pet friendly. Beyond that my paper passed it's 3 blind reviews so the degree is final. Things are looking up, now I just need to start focusing on the transition out of here after 7 years! Major plus is my new place is pretty close :)

I'm having some issues dealing with all this news. Not sure if I am just more mature now, globally aware or I can relate but it is affecting me more then 9-11. I was a sophomore here at NIU then and I remember everything about that day but I never think I cried. Since I found out about the VTech shootings yesterday I keep randomly tearing up. A part of me thinks I just need to turn off the TV and stop reading the news but its almost my responsibility now as a university staff member to know what is going on so I am able to help students with questions or concerns if they have them. The more info I know the hard it is hitting. One of the first shot and killed was an RA in the dorm...an RA just doing his job and trying to make sure his residents were safe. I love my CA staff and it just hurts me to think about that. I guess this RA was also very well known on campus and in the marching band. urrrg.

I can't imagine the feeling of being a staff member on this campus. What would I do? How would I feel? Because I am thinking of this am I selfish? That school will never be the same for many of those students. The love and pride I am sure many of the students have for that school will be tarnished because this tragedy.

While NIU and VTech might be thousands of miles away we are all part of the higher education community and this is just disgusting. A campus should be a safe haven for people to learn and live.

We are having a all CA staff meeting tonight after Hall Council. Not sure how our staffs are handling this or if its affecting them at all but we need to check in. A few of my staff checked in with me yesterday to make sure I was doing OK and handling this well. They are so great and have made me love my job more then anything this semester, we just need to make sure THEY are OK.

Ok, this is the end of my rant. I guess its just something I needed to get out since its making me feel things I haven't felt before. I love my school, my staff and my job.

My CA went to Puerto Rico over break and brought me back a volcano rock!!! I <3 Volcanos.

I love my staff, have do I say that enough?

I am officially discourged.

Make that 8!

I have 7 interviews now!

ahhhh...I leave tomorrow!!!!

Ok, time to get shit done.

I leave tomorrow morning, hopefully I don't die on the road with all the nasty nasty weather coming.

So today officially marks the begining of my last semester at NIU...

What I am feeling? Not sure, it's kinda numb and cloudy at the moment.

It's been a long, bitter sweet 7 years...you can't help but consider this family.

so it's been away hasn't it? Yea, just haven't been in the update mode lately.

It's a new year, I guess I should be reflecting or planning or something but I am not. 2006 is something I would rather not reflect on and I have far too much planning coming up in my life so this just isn't the time for that.

Ended up spending the new years with other Housing staff, so that seems fitting. There were many plans inbetween but this just ended up hapening. When I woke up this morning my plan was just to stay here, treat myself to movies, read and dye my hair. My original plans got blown off then I had too many other pockets of people that wanted my time and were upset I couldn't give it, so I was going to be alone. Oh well. Had some good Mexican food and rang in the new year with the Executive Director of Housing & Dining. Only in a world where you live right next door to the big wigs would this happen.

So yes. Other things...got a 4.0 again this semester! Go me, I graduate in May. I can't belive I will have walked away from this place with 2 degrees to show for myself.

Getting a new phone REALY soon but I just need to decide if I break away from the family plan with USCellular or get my own elsewhere. Who has what and any comments on providers?? Any help would be great.

Cats are very well, nuts as always. Tinkerbell seems to think EVERTHING is a toy. Freak.

I really miss some people others I don't. It's really hard sometimes knowing what is coming and who you might be losing based on proximity. I don't love often, and I just don't want to lose people as friends.

I hear sirens, alot of them...never good on a night like this :(

One more day of "break", it's been a super short one really. We have some staff training Thurs and Friday, before then I need to clean my office hard core. Then the week after that is CA training...I have 2 new staff members I need to get to know and mesh into the wonderful and great 5 I have going now. Wish me luck.

Love life is up in the air as always. Will I ever be the one to settle down? What is my freaking deal?

Ok, enough. Just thought I would ramble some. Later dudes...

obscene